Notes on public speaking

Until now I already had a few talks in public. Combining with the books I read and the theory in Vu's class, I would like to note down here some ways that work for me on how to calm myself and prepare for a good speech/presentation.

On mental preparation:

I strongly believe in God so the mantras give me more strength and energy

• Mantra: I can do all things through God that strengthenth me.
• Mantra: God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me through.
• Mantra: I'm doing this in Love and Service for God. Some mantras work some times but not the other times. Choose what works best for a particular time.

On public speaking:

• You're here because you have something to offer, give it all to them and let the result decided by God.
•  Understand that you are imperfect, you may make mistakes, but be brave, throw your heart out there and be seen, be transparent.
• Your English may not be perfect, your accent may not be native. But leave your fear and speak your heart out.
• You have many stories to tell and your stories are worth sharing.
• You're a human and you're vulnerable, don't be scared to reveal it. Share your success, but remember to share your struggle, share your pain, share your emotion and feeling too.
• You are here to inspire people and make them step out of their comfort zone, so be the role model.
• The audience want you to succeed. They want to have fun and they want to love you. So why not showing them who you are and what they want to see.
• You're going to be in the UN General Assembly one day to present your ideas to save the world. This event is nothing compared to that.
• Always be your self, but be your best self.

On practice:

• Brainstorming the speech using Vu's technique: understanding the audience, focusing on the target, preparing the speech on a paper and write down all the ideas.
• Practice the talk in front of the mirror to see my face expression.
• Practice in front of a close person to get feedback.

At the event:

• Look at the audience deeply to increase the connection.
• Using the PREP to explain the ideas or answer to the question.
• Take a long pause before giving speech, using that time to recite mentally the introduction of the speech.
• Begin and end the talk impressively.
• Focusing on the Energy, the Speed, the Volume and the Pause in your Voice.
• Make people laugh, people cannot hate the person who makes them laugh. (Need to improve my humor in the long term and collect more comic materials).

Practice makes perfect. It's not rocket science.

My talk at the Paradox's workshop

Vu has suggested that I write all my experience regarding public speaking, and my study progress and interaction with other students in the preparation class, and my application of the theory into the reality, so then I would have a little book of "How did Rosie learn to speak" to give away to readers. It was a very cool idea. So now I'm sitting here to note down my thoughts with the latest event: Paradox's workshop on traveling.

Tai, the guy who organised the event this time was an inexperienced university student. So I worked with him closely and gave him the info. & pictures for the power point and revised the agenda and added the contents plus questions for speakers and asked him the attendant lists. Just to make sure that the workshop would go well. I also invited bro Khoa to join the event as I thought his experience would benefit the audience.

And I came then early. I talked with Tai, I thought with Phuc, Paradox's chairman. Then I talked with the MC, and I had a look at the MC Script. Then I was astonished to see that the directing questions I gave Tai so that the MC could lead speakers into the topics were not there. Then I called Tai, and he explained that if the MC gave the questions it would be like a talk show more than a workshop. But I have attended other workshop before and the MC also needed to ask opened questions to navigate the talks to the planned topics. If the speakers just talked it through for 1,5 hours without the MC directing then it would be graceless and the audience would get lost.

So Phuc told me that he was searching again for the questions. And I gave him the questions I had downloaded before into my iPad. Then he told that he would lead the first part of the workshop with these questions as the MC was new and she might not be able to handle the talks well.

Then I was assured and went back to prepare my speech. And bro Khoa came, I had a little chat with him and with the power point operator to warm up at bit. Then music was on and people started to show up. And I swung my head and I took a nice breath. I felt comfortable with the atmosphere around and the music and the people. OMG, I looked at myself had a step back from the inside. When did Rosie start to like the event environment and meeting new people? Wasn't she the shy and isolating girl who wanted to spend most of the time indoor? I smiled at myself and whispered: Things changed so fast.

Then the workshop started with the first part of travel stories. And it was nice. I had no trembling moments. I was able to say what I needed to say, made them laugh and, say, inspired them a bit. I looked at the audience to the eyes with confidence and I really liked it. Seeing the young and lively faces, sharing my stories, giving the useful information. I felt I was doing all of this in my love for God, and I was there to serve these people. So I did the best I could.

Phuc did a great job to direct the show, cheering people up and leading the first part of the workshop really well. Bro Khoa also did not lose a beat in the talk.

The second part of travel planning was not as I expected, as I had to stand up and gave the presentation based on the slides. Although I felt that I could make the presentation more lively and made the audience laugh more, I also felt good and finished it well. Unlike the presentation at TAT's event, this time I felt the connection with the presentation, and only with looking at the pictures on the slides, I was able to remember all the details and talked through them nicely.

And bro Khoa didn't make me disappointed this time. Unlike the Jailbreak event, here he had more space to act. I realized that he also did a good preparation and he showed us all the person I used to know, humorous, generous, adorable and a naturally good man. Some girls wowed when he had the quiz games and gave away three lovely multipurpose scarfs. He totally won the audience. I felt good for him. I felt good about myself too, for inviting him.

With the discussion of the audience and the trial planning for their future trips, the workshop was a bit out of time and it ended pretty late, at 1PM. They even gave me 500,000 VND as a gift for speaker. But I gave it back to the club's fund. I only took the money from selling my 10 books. I was reluctant when Phuc asked me to bring the books to the event, as I just wanted to share and not make it a place to sell book. But I thought it through and said why not. Then it turned out to be good. People bought all and asked me to sign on their books. It was the first event that I brought my books with me to advertise.

Notes for the future events:

• Ask the event organizers to take the video clip of the talk. I asked this time but they seemed not to do it.
• Ask for all the necessary information: The attendant list, the agenda, the slides, especially the MC script.

OK that's it for now.

Thanks to Tai for inviting me to the event. Thanks Phuc to deal with the unexpected problem nicely. And so much thanks to em Vu.

I'm feeling so much grateful and happy.

The boot camp with….. what’s his name? Agrrr, I don’t give a damn

I don't know since when I stopped being scared of trying new things. Perhaps since I knew Vu, hahaha. I now feel eager to step out of my comfort zone. I'm not hesitate to do different and crazy things. I now have much more action capacity than before.

So that's why I when yes when Hoa told me about the boot camp he was doing with a Portuguese guy. A personal trainer, who had trained the US army before. Wow. It's exciting. Oh yessss.

I had done PT (personal training) with Natalie, my yoga teacher before.

The first time I did it, I vomited right after the sprint. The other times I still felt bad. But gradually I got better and I started to like it.

Thanks to the training I knew how weak a typical Vietnamese person was. Not only me but another healthy looking boy also nearly fainted away just after a few minutes sprint. We Vietnamese were just not familiar with that kind of training. Our body condition was generally not ready for that.

But my body condition was better than a normal girl and I wanted to push myself to a higher level. And Natalie's PT was terminated 6 months ago because she basically was not interested in that intense workout anymore. So I was excited to join the Portuguese's boot camp.

And today was my first time with him.

And guess what? It was fantastic.

There were only 4 people in the class. A good looking girl who had been doing boot camp for a long time, Hoa, me and another girl, who was also Hoa's friend and first time in the boot camp.

After the warm up running, the new girl already breathed like crazy and quit the training. The three of us left then did the continuous workout sequence including burpees, push ups, mountain climbers, bicycle crunches, 10 times each for 5 rounds.

Then it started to rain and the trainer was like: "Oh rain. I love it I love it. No one left in this stadium, only us alone. Great. Keep doing it". I knew it. How would you expect that kind of guy to stop training when it was raining.

Then it was raining cats and dogs and we continued the workout anyway. I gave my best effort to finish the 4th round.

And I knew it wouldn't finish there. And there came the part I hated the most.

Sprint again. When I felt like no energy left.

But there was no turning back.

I was paired up with the trainer to sprint for 10 rounds in the competition with the other couple. I kept my pace but then lost the last round so the other team won. I couldn't care less. My temples hurt and I just sat down and breathed like hell. But I stood up at once as I felt like going to throw up. I applied the yoga complete breathing technique and I could hold the puke for sometime.

Hoa asked: "How are you feeling? Are you ok? This is only a warm up". The trainer told: "You're good. You won the old girl in the first sprint. She was impressed. I was impressed." I just shook my head. I barely breathed, let alone talking.

He continued to talked anyway: "I know you feel bad, but this is an easy day" (Yeah of course I knew it was easy, I just hadn't done it for a long time and I was not ready for it). "If you come tomorrow, you will feel worse. But I want the type of person like you in my boot camp. I hope to see you tomorrow". (No thanks). He turned to the new girl and said: "I hope to see you tomorrow too". I bet she wouldn't come back.

Then people left. I went into the toilet and decided to throw up. But my last meal was 7 hours ago and there was nothing left in my stomach to throw up.

I lied when I said it was fantastic. It was terrible instead.

My poor heart. It was fatigued and still didn't get back well.

I dragged myself to the parking lot, soaking wet and extremely cold. Then I dragged myself home. I drove there at 40km/hour and I drove back at 20km/hour. I went there with excitement and I went back with exhaustion.

But it was really good. Really. I bet anyone persistent enough to follow the program will witness his endurance doubled tripled whatever.

If you want to give it a try, bring a plastic bag. What for, you may ask. To have something to puke into. I'm not sure how you feel after the session, but I assure that you will puke. So bring your sickness bag. Yeah, you're welcome.

For me, I don't think I will ever see him again.

Badass.

Ups and downs

It wouldn't be honest if I just note down the times I do well and not the times I fail, (or lets say: the times I need to improve, according to positive thinking :))) ). So here it is, my up and down experience.

There were 2 talk shows on the same day last Saturday. Since I had a trip to Con Dao right before the events, I was a bit worried that I missed out something important and couldn't prepare well for the talks.

But I read The power of positive thinking by Dr Norman Vincent Peale (known as the father of positive thinking), and there were the quotes in the Bible that I really like: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" and "Christ is with me, Christ is helping, Christ is guiding me through". I did as the author suggested, whispering the sentence (replacing Christ by God) and I did feel stronger and more confident. So I kept repeating the words, felt the strength in my heart, and thought about positive things.

And to make sure that I would do well, I stayed much time indoor to prepare for the speeches. I answered the questions in the Jailbreak event. I wrote down the map for the travel event of Thailand Authority of Tourism (TAT) as The Guide Happiness Vu had taught, understanding your audience, beginning, ending, content.... Then I imagined in my head that the two events would go smoothly and everybody would be pleased with my performance.

Then came the events' day.

I landed at the airport at 8.30 and went to the first event at Jailbreak exactly on time. Then the introduced our talks. That was quite an experienced MC, a student from UEH.

I started off well and was confident to deliver my thoughts throughout the event. Another speaker, anh Quy, also talked really well. He was always impressive in front of the public, his skill was so good.

But I was surprised with bro Khoa in that event. He looked down a lot and didn't keep eye contact with the audience or other speakers. He was not funny, talkative and lovely as he normally acted in previous event. I didn't know what happen to him. Anyway, the event ended, some people went to talk with me, including some journalists and I felt quite satisfied. Anh Quy and his friend also commented that I spoke like a poet, including many quotes and stories and useful information.

And we went to the second event. Anh Quy had the rehearsal on the stage and so did I. People started to show up and I saw my friend Vu. 

Then there was the showtime. Anh Quy's presentation was quite long,  but he did well with his usual energetic gesture and his humor. I felt a bit nervous, but kept repeating the words: "God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me through". 

Then came my talk. And I didn't know why but I lost my spirit. I didn't forget my speech, but my words became to rush and I felt my voice trembled. I wanted to take a deep breath and calmed myself down but I couldn't. I started sweating. I heard people talking loudly. I thought they were all laughing at me. I laughed along just to hide my embarrassment. "This is bad", I thought. "Where are you God?" I asked.

That was a catastrophe, I told to myself. I was very good at the talk show - asking and answering type - in the morning, but I felt not very comfortable with the presentation and all the slides. I didn't feel the connection with the slides at all.

But I was glad it ended.

It was stressful and rushing working on that event. And people called me out for meetings suddenly. One time I had to cancel my cooking with the yoga teacher to attend the meeting and I felt a bit bad about that. I usually have my work scheduled way ahead and I want my appointments to be planned beforehand.

Anyway, I was grateful to anh Quy and TAT for inviting me to his event, although I didn't do very well. I was grateful to know more techniques of presentation from my class, although I didn't apply well. I was grateful that things could have been worse.

What happened, happened. There was nothing I could do about it. I went to the thank you dinner with TAT with a bit of shame still. But I tried to show my thankfulness to the head of TAT (I really liked her, I liked Thai people), and talked friendly with people to create good atmosphere.

Then I went home and slept with peace.

August 2nd 2015

I want to note down this day. A day to remember. A day to remark.

Because it was the first day in my life that I felt so happy to stand in front of people.

I attended a seminar as a guest speaker. A small seminar, the audience were mainly high school and university students. I was there and shared my journey, my stories, my thoughts with young people. No panic, no shaking, no scare. I was able to deliver all the ideas that I had prepared, made people laugh sometimes, and said what I needed to say most of the time.

Two other speakers were also very talented. There was a girl who was famous and very experienced in public speaking, being an MC and all. I was quite nervous in the morning of that day when seeing her vlog, as I thought: "Wow, she is really a showbiz girl" and I was not sure if I would feel inferior and draw myself back in front of such people as I usually did. But it was ok. Her talk was impressive, with some techniques to draw intention and some nice jokes. But I felt proud of myself that I answered the questions better and focused right at the points that the audience wanted. And when I replied to the questions, I looked down and I saw the face of the people, with thumb up signs and happy faces, I just knew that I did a good job.

It's not because that the other speakers were not good. They were very talented and their lives were full of successes. But because of that they didn't quite understand the feeling of having a boring life, of feeling fed up with the self and wanted to change. But I did. I led a boring life in my youth. I had been a quiet and normal girl, wanted to change my life but didn't know how. I was through the struggles that the audience had. I understood how they felt, what they wanted. I knew how to change, to improve, to become better and have a fuller life.

When the seminar was over, people were around me, asking more questions. I was in the middle of the crowd, seeing young faces, listening to their stories, feeling their struggles, their lost, their dreams and their thoughts. It was a good feeling. They reminded me of my youth.

And I was there, sharing my story, sharing my independent learning process, sharing my experience. The little girls nodded and their faces glowed as I spoke my heart out to them. The person who organised the seminar told me that audience was impressed with my talk. And when I went home I saw new Fb friend requests and I saw a post of a boy quoting my words, saying: best quote of the seminar. I knew my words could make changes.

It may not be a big thing for other people. But it's a big thing for me.

Because public speaking has never been my strength.

When I was in primary and secondary school, I was strong and confident, my mom was a teacher and she taught me that attitude. I went to story telling competition, I sang in the conference, and I was not nervous to stand in front of people. But in high school time, my teacher discouraged us to raise our hands in the class, maybe not his will but by his attitude. Whenever we stood up to reply to his questions, he made jokes on us and made us feel bad. I felt humiliated sometimes by his attitude. So I didn't grow the habit of standing up in front of people and speaking up my ideas.

Going to a university with full of talented and aggressive people, I then drew back to my shell and became an introvert, quiet and shy girl. During the years working in corporate world I also hardly had chance to give a public speech.

But now being an author, a health coach and a life coach wannabe, public speaking is a necessary skill for me. I want to share my thoughts, share my dreams, share my ideas to young people and inspire them to live up to their passions and aptitudes.

I have attended a presentation class from my dear young friend Vu. I was tired with the homework and felt so much pressure. But I knew I had to make it. I have big dreams and I need good tools.

Perhaps it's because of the good teacher. Perhaps because I had prepared so well for the seminar. Perhaps I was passionate with the topic. Perhaps because of all these reasons. But I had the first good seminar ever. And this is only the beginning. This is the turning point. I want to note it down. So much joy and love.

I'm so much grateful.

To teacher Vu for helping me with my presentation skill.

To em Chau for inviting me to her seminar.

To the audience that listened to me and sent me their lovely messages to share their feelings.

To life that has been so good to me, that I have the chance to live in this world as a human.

And to God that gave me my aptitude. I feel so lucky to find out my talent, to know my passion, to work and to live with it. 

So many people out there don't know what their passion is.

A day in my life

It's just a normal day in my life. And I'm sitting in a cafe, writing the article that I promised to write.

And Passenger's songs whispering to my ears, and green flowering vines outside of the cafe window.

And I tell myself, what a beautiful day. And I feel the impulse to note down.

The freedom that I have fought for. The moment that I have been longing for. The time of my life.

To get out of the office room, to do what I love, to spend time with the people I like, to step out of my comfort zone, to try new things, to bring more values, and feeling alive.

Not quite sure what the future will hold. But quite a few things have been coming to me. Like meeting new people, receiving new co-operation offers, having more connections.

I'm going to spend the next 6 months to work from home.
In order to do that, I need to arrange scientifically to make the best use of my time, which will be noted in my notebook. And I need to consistently stick to it.

A new journey ahead.

Keep your head up, your smile bright, your heart open. And work. 

Value is what matters the most

Hey it's me again.

It's been a while and there have been a few things happening a long the way.

I resigned finally. After so much struggle.

My direct boss tried to keep me as long as possible, 45 working days, equal to more than 2 months. I was quite angry at that as normally it's only 45 days, means 5 weeks. It's a waste of company's money and employee's time, as you know once the person doesn't want to stay, trying to keep him/her only makes things worse.

Anyway I just let it go and do what I can to make the transition as smooth as possible while still enjoy myself.

I don't feel afraid of the future or anything.

Although I know that things will change a bit or maybe I will get frustrated about what to do next and I may stumble on the way. But at the point of time I just regret only one thing: I should have left the f*cking company earlier.

Tony Hsieh walked out of Oracle just 5 months after joining as a newly graduated student. Leaving a high paid job and building his own company.

After reading his book I just realized that I prolonged my resignation for so long, much longer than I should. I've been through many days walking to the company and then walking back home like a zombie.

But I just talked to myself to try through one and one single day, thinking to overcome the challenges and hardship and not quitting so easily. And I didn't really do anything effective there. I was just simply wasting my time to get some little money to survive.

Sometimes persistence kicks back.

So to correct my words, the company is not f*cking bad, it's only f*cking bad for me.

Frankly speaking, that was once a very good company and my position was once my dream job. People felt like a family and I felt like home being there. Every weekends we would gather together and go picnic in somewhere far away from the city. Man I miss that time.

Things have changed. New people came. Departments got conflict. A lot of dispute and back talk and tiring meetings. There is no fun left. Sometimes I look back and wonder what actually happened. What actually went wrong.

Until I read Tony Hsieh's book again. It's the culture. No one there to keep the culture up. As the business gets bigger people tend to forget the core things. They tend to focus more on profit, forget to have fun and build the culture.

And I was wrong too.

There I've been working so hard to be effective. My SCM KPI was the highest among the whole region. But I forgot to communicate with people. And in the end people don't remember what I did, they only remember how I make them feel. In the end my boss doesn't remember how much I devoted my time and effort to make things well. She only remembers that I didn't talk to her much and what I didn't do and my mistakes, etc. That's a hard lesson to learn.

Applying it to my future.

Now I'm building my own business. It's not a big one, but it's growing with faithful customers.
Sometimes I got lost, got envious with others. Sometimes I got lazy, don't want to grow it.

But I have built it well up to this point. Differently, focusing on values and niche market and interaction. Sharing useful information and values and having fun together.

So I have to focus on how people feel. By applying yoga philosophy here: respecting all people and treating them all the same, regardless of age, appearance, social status or religion belief...

I have to be more friendly and accessible. Being easy to talk to and let people feel welcomed being with me.

I have to listen more, seeing the positive things in people, building up friendships and real connection.

I have to focus on the values I can bring to them. Not doing the tricky things like scandal or something to get attention.

I have to lower my ego and serve more people.

I have to make things attractive, up to the current trend so the values I bring can spread more to potential customers. Without attractive forms, values cannot go very far.

Value is what matters the most. And how we convey the messages are as much important as value.