Behavior

Sometimes we cannot please all the people we've met in our lives. But sometimes we feel really shock to know how some people are not pleased with us. What did we do? Why do they hate us so badly? We wonder. Then we realized some of our small small careless behaviors previously made the bad impression. And from time to time, if we didn't do anything to correct the impression, things get worst. And they become our enemies without intention.

I'm basically not a widely favorite character. Some may hate me much, some may like me much. Despite what I've done or not done for them. I accept it as a part of my life. And don't try to hide myself from my real personality. It's just a part of me. So I have been rude to the people I didn't like, and have been careless to some, have been strict and irritable when things didn't go right. Suffering to be nice for what when we cannot please the whole world after all?

But by chance I discovered that how a small gesture or action can affect our lives afterward. Therefore, we must do correctly from the first step, in everything, yes, everything. Especially for the things involve human. We can fix machine or system later if it's wrong. But for human, its very difficult to change, make them think differently afterward. We may not do the job perfectly, not all the people know. But if you are not a friendly person, all the people know and get away from you.

Realized how far life has push me around. How much I have changed since the day I left the old house in the grass. Being more successful, being wealthier, but also greedier. Life changed, people come and go. I'm not and should not be that little girl that put her heart in her mouth. More calm and discreet. Respect and cherish every person come to my life. And get back to my root, and the basic principles of life, before the world throw me a bigger stone. Being kind, being hearty, being good, to myself and to the world. Back to the basis, Rosie.

Red

Listen to her, I mean, Taylor Swift, as I am now.
See how intelligent she is, hah. Every small normal feeling is turned into the soft and soothing tone. Adding to her used-to-be-super gentle music now are some electronic notes that make the songs very catchy. Good job girl.
Reading Where rainbow ends last weekend for just 8 hours. Also noticed how small small feelings were conveyed in the book so subtly to create the empathy. After finishing, all I could say was: "Damn, why not write like that". Saw that she was in a music band, a tv program producer, and obtaining a degree in journalism before starting her first book, PS. I love you at the age of 21.
Amelia Earhart, the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She was afraid of the thunder when she was small. But when she grew up she rode on the biggest winds and waves to catch her dreams. How brave she was. She established a flying school and inspired the girls who wanted to become a pilot. She wrote books about flying, she got a medal from the US president and got lost on her way conquering the new route. What a life.
I've been struggling with myself lately. Just wish that I have enough strength, courage and patience to start up a new chapter in my life.
Do your best Rosie. You won't have your 25th age another time.

Loneliness

Sometimes fed up with the feeling of being alone. Sometimes waking up in middle of the night, just want to have someone by my side. To cover this coldness, to fulfill this emptiness.

There are billions of people on the globe. Wondering thousand of times, why we met each other, why did we are so much into each other, why we have to be together, with the peak happiness and the deepest pains, you and me, both wonder. Destiny, a whispered answer. Destiny brought us together. Will destiny another time bring our lives together? Or we just pass each other's path and will never cross again?

Another night of loneliness. Don't know how the future will be. If you're with me also I wonder will we have a small cosy family. Or again it is quarrel and dispute. Never been so confused like this.

Sometimes feel so tired of life. Try and try hard at work. Doing all the tough things, handling all the tough people, overcome all the tough tasks. All make me exhausted and just wanna hide myself in a small peaceful corner, where someone will cook for me sometimes, where someone will massage for me sometimes. Whilst most of the other time I will do all my best to bring him comfort. Just sharing and understanding, love and friendship. Thats all I need for a partner I think. But when it comes to life, I bet I need more than that. Things'll never get enough. We always want what we can't get.

Dalai Lama once said: "Its pricey to get both success and happiness". I want both of that. What to do. Energy, sweats and tears will be poured, to get a harvested crop.