Work for my country

I read a scientist's blog yesterday about why it's hard to be proud as a Vietnamese. Taking 6 criteria: tradition & culture, economy, education & science, social stability, nature, and global responsibility, he explains respectively why Vietnamese pride is a difficult thing. He quotes a note from a Vietnamese historian: "In general, Vietnamese are smart, but there's hardly a genial individual. They are more into art than science, and prefer vanity to real study. They are a bit superficial, not so persevering. There is little creativity, but much of imitation". He compares Vietnam with Japan, and Australia, where he is living. Then he concludes that Vietnamese in general have nothing to be proud of their nation, if any, that's the future's story. Well yeah, that's all true, but the thing is, there's nothing new about it. And I'm sick of hearing such things. You know where it leads to? Complaint. Dismay.

What strikes me is Vietnamese are so conscious about their nationality, so proud in the past and so ashamed in the present. In school, teachers taught us to be proud of Vietnam, quoting Ho Chi Minh: "Our people are passionate patriots". Growing up that way, we stick our personality to our nationality. One time, me and my colleague went to a business trip abroad. When introducing herself, she proudly said: "I'm Linh. I'm Vietnamese". I thought that only me who was so proud of being Vietnamese, then I realized it was what had been taught, everyone was like that. Now things change. Many Vietnamese people go abroad, mostly developed countries, who wants to see Africa when going aroad? And now they turn around feeling ashamed of their nationality.  They often complain how bad this country is, how bad the political situation is, how bad other Vietnamese behave. They always compare Vietnam with developed countries. Vietnam this, Vietnam that. I can smell a bit of national inferority in this.

Other countries, I don't see a that much consciousness or explicit relevance between people and their nationalities. My friends don't mention their nationalities until being asked. A friend introduces himself shortly: I'm J. He is J, that's it. He is an individual, an independent person, not a person who belongs to a specific country. When I asked him if Indian were this and that, he replied curtly: "It's not about Indian, but it's about personalities. Don't put a hat on me 'coz I'm Indian or Vietnamese. Don't equate all the people". What a difference!

Ugly Vietnamese has been a hot topic to write on. A friend once told me to write a book about ugly Vietnamese, he would buy it. I smirked, thanked him and replied: if I wrote any book about that topic, my book wouldn't be about ugly Vietnamese, but about social standard and education made us ugly, and how should we improve that status. I'm fed up with people going around and talking how bad Vietnam is compared with other countries. Sure, Vietnam is no way better than America, Europe, Australia, or Japan. This is an underdeveloped nation. If any thing makes me sad, it's that this nation is not developed in conformity with its resources, not because of it's not in pace with industrial capital nations. But what we can do for the country, that's important. How we, with our best, contribute to the progress and development of Vietnam.

So what can I take from it for myself? Well, Vietnamese think of themselves to vain and not into real study. I'm gonna prove the contrary. I can see that books in the market now are published neglectfully, many books are actually collections of the authors' different blog posts. These books therefore lack of coherence, consistency, and attraction. My book won't be like that. I used to proud of myself to release one of the best graduation thesis in my university (although not the highest graded one), I did a lot of research, market analysis, I was very detailed and meticulous, to make sure that everything was right. So now I'm gonna do 100 times more than that (sorry for the exaggeration, it only means I'm gonna do better than that). Reading books, researching topics, making everything in line. I'm gonna make my book on par with other international best sellers. Making it the most informative Vietnamese travel book ever, making it the best book available in that niche market, making myself crave for it, making readers crave for it. Sound too ambitious? You'll see that I can. Only hard work required.

What can help me to do it better? Well, it's to utilize my night time, 8 - 10PM to research seriously and effectively, and saving all the useful information for the next morning writing. Let me find the way not to fall asleep so early. I slept too much last night and couldn't work as much as I wanted. Good news? I finished Cambodia part, finished it well. Bad news? Didn't read any word about Thailand. Anyway I did have some books about Thailand now. 5 more days to go for the country of smile.

Keep going Rosie.

The turning point

One week have passed. I haven't written much of the book, although I managed to write 1,000 words per day about other topics, which may be useful for my next books.

The fact is that I'm coming to a difficult part. Stories finished, now I have to read a lot of materials, information, different books, different sites, and synchronize all and somehow turn these things into my words and provide the best, the most useful information for my readers. Not easy right? Don't be fooled, it's not hard as it seems. At this point, I realize that research is a part of writing. I used to admire Elizabeth Gilbert for her detailed and informative notes, now I'm doing it myself and hope my readers will somehow feel the similar satisfaction. There is only one problem, it takes time. I cannot write as fast as I want.

It's the end of September now. I've written a little bit over 1/3 of the book, finishing Cambodia history, now need to finish the culture, people and religion part. I have planned that for each introduction of each country, I would write around 5 pages, means maximum 3,000 words, an achievable goal I reckon. Target set: 5 days for each country. Well, just read a lot of information at night, then write in the morning. Anything missing can be supplemented later, now just write all down and finish as early as possible. By the end of October I need to have at least Cambodia, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia finished. If possible adding the Philippines. And by then I will have submitted the preface and Cambodia travel guide to the publishers.

Last weekend, I had a very nice night with my friend in a newly opened Japanese restaurant in D1. Beautiful design, good food, and quiet. I remember listening to my friend's continuous talking and looking at the window with hanging green flower baskets, feeling the scent of the night. She is going to have her book published too. She told she met an experienced editor from a famous publishing house, who gave her useful ideas for her book. And she has to re-write the book, and I've got the editor's name. Her book is about traveling too, but it's a story. My book, well, not about it. I hope somehow we both can have our books published and sold well, filling the niches with our hits.  Let's see how things go.

OK, small thing first. Today, I will have to finish the part about Cambodia introduction, and move on to the next country. I've read enough about Cambodia, it's time to finish writing about it.

Onward Rosie.

One year and work/write balance

I'm 1/3 through the book, confident to say it now. I finished most of the stories throughout South East Asia and now reading the information about each country to write the guiding parts. Just one thing behind the schedule, that I planned to finish editing the Cambodia and Singapore stories last night and moved on to the next, but couldn't. Anyway, it's not so bad and now I have the idea how to to revise the stories then.

My friend helped me to contact another publisher, and I need to send them a draft of my book before the end of next month so they can review it and let me know their feedback. My birthday then, at the end of next month. Gotta write my button off to meet the deadline. Then I can have the best birthday ever, it's all in my hands. The more I write, the more I'm confident about my writing skill and the feasibility of the book. The more I write, the better I feel. Even if it may not be a success, it proves to me that I can, proves to me that the life that I've been wanted but never thought I could reach is real, is possible, with my hard work.

I nearly reach the threshold of 21 days, it's 21 days to build a habit, as always said. From the beginning of September, I've been writing 1,000 words a day, except for yesterday to be precise. I'm comfortable with that, as I can see it now. It's even itchy not to write enough during the day. Writing is a way to reflect myself, to think, to reminisce things and bring new lights to old memories, and somehow it makes my life richer, full of joy and contentment. I never feel this much good since I was born. I've been wondering how other writers can find time to write while they are working, how Khaled Hosseini finished "The kite runner" when he still worked as a doctor. Now I know how. They just do it, saving their time and write. 

This is one year since the date my article about traveling made me famous on Facebook. One year, things have changed since. The girl in my article got a scholarship and begins her first semester in Stanford now, no one remembers the crazy guy who requested to withdraw her book and denounced me, and me, I'm writing my first book. Since that event, I have been known as a Facebooker, an inspirer to some, a mentor, and a story teller. I got many new friends and lost some old friends meanwhile, but glad that my best ones still last. I've been writing more diligently since, and see what brought me: A fulfilled life.

This is also my one year anniversary with yoga. And I'm happier with myself now, thinking about my soul and my God more often. Whenever something goes wrong or not as I expect, I think about my soul, and in the long run, what that would mean to me, and what I should do to make it right. Then things turn out to be ok, as in the long run, petty things disappear, only good attitude and hard work last. So I just focus on what important. And I'm not an angry, moody, hot temper individual that I once was. I'm calmer and more laid back than before, stronger physically and mentally.

And books, I'm more into books now. English books and Vietnamese books, buying and borrowing and lending. Sometimes I just wish to take a day leave and stay home to read. Books bring great pleasure to me. "Too many books, to little time", this quote is just so right. Now I have a bookshelf in my room and building a small library with my mom back in the hometown, for her students.

To sum up, these three things made me a better person for one year: reading, writing, and yoga. See how far they will lead me if I continue this way, guess I will become exactly the person that I wanted to be. Nothing in life is more desirable than that.

Yet I need to note to myself here. Since I notice that I won't feel perfectly ok with myself if I don't work well at my full time job. I must say that I'm fed up with it, 1000 percent. But I can't get rid of it right now. And it is likely that I can never get rid of it. Very few writers can live with their work, especially in Vietnam, where writers are poorly paid, and copyright regulations are still disdained. Many writers still need to stick with their full time jobs to earn their livings. Being new in writing, I cannot expect to live comfortably with it, even if my first book is a big success. So the wise choice is to do well at the official job.

Since I'm no longer into this job, I had a bad attitude and didn't devote my time and energy to work. And it's bad. My bosses look down on me, which I couldn't stand it, my work gets worse, which I don't want it to be, and I can't even quit now if I apply my resignation letter, since there are still many things pending.

What is the best way of this, I already know. Today, I make a promise to myself: work perfectly in the office, and leave early, going home and do my writing. It is to work perfectly in both areas that makes my life balance and good. Writing makes me feel good at home, but doing my job well will make me feel good 8 hours a day at work, I can't neglect any field. And I need to make things right, sowing the right seeds to see the ripe fruits. This is what I will do today: no reading, no Facebooking at work, saving exactly 8 hours and then leave to write. And since today, I will continue it, for 21 days, as what I have done with my writing.

Onward, Rosie.

A note

Things have been good lately, but today morning I didn't complete my 1,000 words. That's why I'm writing this.

I was doing good with the book, being stuck at one point, but then I found out the way and wrote it better. Tried this and that in different parts, to figure out what works for me, and it turned out ok, for me now, at this moment. I don't expect it to be easy, and I'm gonna stay with it, stick with it, and work on it. Let's see how it goes.

I only read Vietnamese books these days, not much of English materials. English words flow through me more slowly than before. Guess I have to begin again English book reading, and restart my 10 new words a day. And a Vietnamese dictionary, feeling even my Vietnamese vocabulary is not enough for my writing.

Something very important I have to note down, as last night I thought to open the old dairy and wrote it, but now I can't remember what.

Anyway, I attended a friend birthday just last Tuesday, and saw how her fans appraised her upon her beauty, her writing. What I learn from that is, readers feel a piece of writing good, that means it says what they think, and readers will like the writer if he tells what they all think but cannot put into word, and they will be deeply moved by seeing themselves in between the words written.

The article that made me famous was also because I wrote what many people thought at that time, but didn't say it. I connected them in the words, they felt the empathy in my writing. Keep this in mind, and always think of what a reader likes when reading the book, I will create a product just fine.

Another trick in writing, whenever feel stuck, I just imagine the book on shelf, thinking what would be perfect at that point, what my readers expect in that part, then I put my love in it, try different styles of writing, then get over it, and move on. Mom gave me this idea. It helped.

OK, that's all for now. Will add if something more comes to my mind during the day.

* Note: check all the information parts and insert my story/experience or price comparison and 2 sites comparison to provide the best vision for readers and help the articles to be more attractive (as per publisher's advice).

Onward.

For my family

It's been the fifth day into the book. I was writing good yesterday. Feeling good.

I haven't told all about what I'm up to, just family and one close friend. A part of me, I'm not quite sure that I can make it, it's a long term thing and it requests a lot of patience and effort. I haven't been so good at being patient in the recent years, due to lacking of practice, I reckon. But I have reasons to fight for, I have my family, my mom, my grandmother. Mom reminded me that this is our (her and my) life time wish, it's been waiting for so long to come into life. Mom told that I had my grandmother and her courage, but I had more opportunity and more education, I had tools to make our dream come true.

My grandmother, her husband died when she was 20 years old, leaving her alone with 2 children. She lived a simple and frugal life, raising my mom and my uncle with her bare hands. Mom told that everyday she worked from morning to night in her garden, planting and watering vegetables for sale, every day she put an egg from the chickens she raised into the rice pot, eating half in lunch, saving the rest for dinner. Everyday during mom's college time, my grandmother ate that way to save money for her and my uncle's education.

My mom, she has a husband, and he is still alive now. But pretty much the same to my dead grandfather, father didn't help much at home, all the financial burden falls on to mom's shoulder, what he could do was mainly praying. Mom did everything she could to make me and my brother go to college, the best colleges in the country of our professions. She was very hard working, just like my grandmother. But history didn't do her a favor, just like what it did to grandma. These generations spent their lives struggling from war remnants, going through it, didn't have a choice.

But me, the choices are in my hand, the words are in my mind. I just have to put them all out, by order, with emotion. Grandma and mom did their parts in our family's history, now it's my turn to make the history of the family. This is not for money or fame. Apart from love of writing, apart from doing this for my own sake, I do this for my grandma, for mom, and for my future daughter. For them I will fight, diligently, fearlessly.

Onward, Rosie.

It's hard, but it's not impossible

The third day into my book project, and I'm dog - tired. My brain moans like a mangy beast when I try to take the words out. It's not that I don't know what to write, it's just exhausted to take the words out. Every other tasks seem to be so easy, my office job, guitar jamming, revising CVs, everything else is easy. Writing the book is the only thing that is damn difficult.

But it's an irony. Isn't it true that all my life I have been dreaming of this time, writing and publishing and get out of the tedious office cubic, living freely with my words and readers, and more importantly, with my true self. I have always believed that if I were born on this world with a mission, then that only mission would be writing. If I can do something to change the world, or to make a significance with my existence on this earth, it would be writing. I find myself fulfilled and excited when I write, when pouring the right words out of my mind and express exactly what I want to say. I want to go around the world and be a storyteller, letting people know how beautiful life is, to share my view, to cherish life and the world. But saying is always simpler than doing.

It was not easy, but not that hard to write, at least until this point of my life. Hence I never thought that it this difficult to write every day, 1,000 days a word, like I commit to myself, like what all other great writers advise.

Day 1, I tried to write whatever came to my mind, 1300 words, thought to edit it later, and it was a mess. I did revise it into a more decent version later, but it took me a lot of time. 

Day 2, I went for quality instead of quantity, doing a lot of research before actually writing. But I couldn't finish 1,000 within 4 - 6 AM in the morning, so I stole some free time during lunch to finish it. Nearly 2,000 words, a complete work.

Day 3, means today, I couldn't make it over 600 words, not good but not bad. Gotta finish it all tonight.

OK Rosie, if you cannot do it, just keep your mouth shut and go back to your dull job. No thorns, no throne; no galls, no glory; no laming, no naming; no struggle, no promised land. So go for it.

I'll change my strategy, balancing between quality and quantity, and do the research the night before maybe, to save time and jump right into writing when I wake up in the morning. Writing down these words make me feel better. Now, get back to the real battle. 

Love.