I once read an idea like this: In life, what we all desire, what we all fight for, are sometimes nothing than choices. At that time, there was a disagreement emerged in me. I thought that it must be something else, something magnificent and tremendous, that worth desiring, worth fighting for, rather than choices.
But as time goes by, at this time of my life, I find myself reminding that old sentence more frequently, and whisper how right it is.
At my age, most of my friends are prone to get married, building nests and having kids. Or having master a degree while working, spending money and time in the obsolete education system. It's not what I want.
As getting older with fewer choices of suitors, I grow wiser and better with my knowledge. The world I'm seeing through books and traveling gives me a wider view. I know I always have other choices.
I can choose to get married as late as I want. Or even lead a single life, if I wish to devote more time for writing and social activities.
I know I can wander around the world, living a simple and happy life, no care about social status, savings, and reproduction responsibility with my family. Or living abroad for some period of time, meeting new people, collecting stories, enhancing my English, and have more materials for my writing.
I know I can choose to gain knowledge through my self study programs, no need to register to MBA courses, no need to waste all my savings for a certificate and doubting its real value.Or getting a scholarship and experience a developed education environment.
Not like Mariam in A thousand splendid suns, whose only choice is to get married at the age of 15 with a man 30 years older than her and cannot go to school, I know I always have choices to make, and I'm grateful for that.
Choices are always there, it's just that whether our views are broad enough to see.
But then life grows more complicated.
If you have only one choice, it's simple, no other way but go for it. Once you have more choices, you need to decide which way to go, and there you're afraid that you will choose a wrong way.
Charles Darwin said: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge". That's the reason why sometimes the very amateurs are the ones who achieve big things. The more knowledge I have, the less sure I am about the world. The more materials I have, the less I'm willing to loose my things.
Now, with my little knowledge and materials that I gain, with the crossroads of life in front of my eyes, I find myself not the brave, fearless and decisive kid that I once was. I find myself reluctant, and scared.
It's more difficult to go up from the middle point.
So I kick my ass, and murmur: "Just do it".
But as time goes by, at this time of my life, I find myself reminding that old sentence more frequently, and whisper how right it is.
At my age, most of my friends are prone to get married, building nests and having kids. Or having master a degree while working, spending money and time in the obsolete education system. It's not what I want.
As getting older with fewer choices of suitors, I grow wiser and better with my knowledge. The world I'm seeing through books and traveling gives me a wider view. I know I always have other choices.
I can choose to get married as late as I want. Or even lead a single life, if I wish to devote more time for writing and social activities.
I know I can wander around the world, living a simple and happy life, no care about social status, savings, and reproduction responsibility with my family. Or living abroad for some period of time, meeting new people, collecting stories, enhancing my English, and have more materials for my writing.
I know I can choose to gain knowledge through my self study programs, no need to register to MBA courses, no need to waste all my savings for a certificate and doubting its real value.Or getting a scholarship and experience a developed education environment.
Not like Mariam in A thousand splendid suns, whose only choice is to get married at the age of 15 with a man 30 years older than her and cannot go to school, I know I always have choices to make, and I'm grateful for that.
Choices are always there, it's just that whether our views are broad enough to see.
But then life grows more complicated.
If you have only one choice, it's simple, no other way but go for it. Once you have more choices, you need to decide which way to go, and there you're afraid that you will choose a wrong way.
Charles Darwin said: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge". That's the reason why sometimes the very amateurs are the ones who achieve big things. The more knowledge I have, the less sure I am about the world. The more materials I have, the less I'm willing to loose my things.
Now, with my little knowledge and materials that I gain, with the crossroads of life in front of my eyes, I find myself not the brave, fearless and decisive kid that I once was. I find myself reluctant, and scared.
It's more difficult to go up from the middle point.
So I kick my ass, and murmur: "Just do it".
