Life here and there

I put my coat on, lock the door, and go down the stair. It’s hot and sunny outside. Inhaling a long breath, I smell the scent of vivid life around. A Sunday morning like any other weekend, people are standing and talking, selling things out on the street, passing me on their bikes.

Sometimes I come up with funny idea of collecting living stories. My stories, your stories, his stories, her stories, all putting together to make a lively picture of life, here and there, everywhere on earth.

What I like living here is sunlight. I love the sun, loving its beautiful rays shining on things around me, loving the colorful light it creates when going through different lenses of life. If there were a previous life, I would be a member of a tribe worshiping the Solar deity. Living here, I can have sunlight every month, every season, all year long. The sun makes me alive, wiping out the dark thoughts, keeping me away from the sudden depressed feeling of a typical moody person.

Food is another plus. Nothing beats Vietnamese cuisine, seriously. Food is a big part of the culture. Walking around the market, choosing fresh ingredients, adding a lot of herbs, and enjoying the homemade meals with the family is one of my favorite things. A combination of different delicate spices, a balance between yin and yang, the food inside my mouth is just like a carnival that revives all of my senses. Not to mention the diversity of fruits here, omg, I can hardly survive a day without fruit.

And the people. Friendly and warm-hearted, talkative and caring, they give more energy to my life, even when I least need human connection.

My life has changed over the last year. Trying, failing and winning some new things, going out of my comfort zone, pushing myself to the limits, opening up my mouth, I found more friends and I found myself. Thanks to a variety of physical and mental activities, I’m now able to feel happiness whenever I want. Just close my eyes, taking a long deep breath, smelling the wind outside the window and smiling with myself, there I feel, inside my chest, a emerging joy comes up and spreads along my body, leaving a relaxing sensation. “Happiness is only a state of mind”, it’s said.

Happiness is not a problem for me, excellence is. I'm craving for excellence, wishing to touch my dreams giving all my best, living with all my capability and contribute to the development of this world. I hate the daily routine of petty jobs that drains my energy. But it's how life always is, like any other people around me. 

People here are nice. But besides a circle of my peers, people here are working class, trying to earn a living every day, working for money to grow themselves and their family, spending spare time with gossip or drinking. No further meaning in life, no other education or knowledge, no ambition and dream, they’re born and die without leaving a footprint on earth.

I hate living that way. I’m scared of it. I’m freaking out of the thought to end my life in a small dusty room, regretting about a boring and empty life that I haven’t done enough meaningful things.

I found my passion, I know it deep in my heart. If there is anything that I’m proud of myself, if there is anything that makes me different from others, that is writing. Writing fulfills me, pushing back the dark force inherent in human soul, giving me strength and helps me to find my true self. There is always a desire inside me to sit down and write a masterpiece, the one that will mark my name on this world, to set my footprint, to share the values that I believe in. I know I have a skill on that, people compliment on my writing, friends and family encourage me to write more. I know I can make it through continuous effort.

But right now I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do next with my writing. I want to get out of the boring 8 – 5 office life, having more time to write and make some money out of that, to travel to other places on earth, having more experience and stories to keep writing. But where should I begin? How should I earn money from writing? What is the next step? Fashion trends for teenager magazine? It doesn't mean anything to me. Love stories with romantic and unreal scenes, I’m long over that age. Most of newspapers, magazines with all the information and trends are bullshit. I want to write things to inspire people, make them aware of the vicious cycle of life and thrive to live the best they can, loving life and standing together to protect the nature and resolve the problems on earth. But how can I keep developing my writing, and share more values through it, and make it thrive? I haven’t found out the answer yet.

I was reading Will you be there of Guillaume Musso. Its funny that I found the book not excellent as I expected, I thought I could write a book like that. I smiled thinking that what counts after reading the book is not the book itself, but my own thoughts reading it. I remind of the meaning of simple thing, real friendship, sequence of our actions on people's lives. Each of our decision affects life in a different way, good or bad is in our hands. So I have to make a choice in my life, continue to make a good difference in other people’s lives around me, with my writing, with my presence, with my love.