I'm taking a writing course. In one of the lessons, the teacher said: "Include sensuous description into your writing". I was surprised. Is it something relating to sex? If so I can't, writing about sex is not my priority now. But clearly it was not. The teacher explained shorter later, sensuous writing means writing with your all of your senses, describe your sense of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching and feeling. Okay if so let me try to describe sensuously how I start a day.
"I wake up. The room is filled with darkness. I move my arms and legs, and give my body a long deep stretch. My left foot touches a hard squared object. The phone. I turn it on. 3:53AM. My mouth opens and forms a big yawn. I turn to one side and sit up. The feet dropped on the cool floor. This is the ritual. Stand up. Right leg first. Then left leg. Right. Left. Right. Left. To the bathroom. Release what needs to be released. Phew. Then washed the hands. Slowly go back to bed. Sit down. Put one foot over the thigh of the other leg. Cushions under knees. Set the timer. And off I go into meditation.
Immediately focus on the rising and falling of your abdomen, my teacher said. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. The belly is like a balloon going up and down after each breath. But this balloon is rising a little bit more to the left. Oh, now it's more on the back side. And then to the front. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Oh, I need to set up a meeting with Mr. Pencil. Mr. Pencil is the founder of an organization...No, no, no, no. You should not think when you're meditating. If you're thinking when doing meditation, you should realize that you're thinking, and note that you're thinking by chanting. Okay, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Now back to the movement of the abdomen. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Send a message to Teo, this is important. Teo is doing great in boot camp, he beat the teacher last time, meanwhile I'm such a duck. No, not again, don't hop on the train of thought. Joseph Goldstein says in a meditation book that if we hop on, then when we hop off, we're in a different place from where we start. I want to stay here and now. Concentration. Mindfulness.
Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Oh it's so itching in my right palm. Something is biting me. Perhaps a mosquito. I should focus on that feeling. Itching, itching, itching, itching. Now it reduces. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Good. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I feel relaxed. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I just sit there and breathe. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. So good.
Pain. The pain in my left ankle slowly rises up. Now it's piercing my bone. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Omg so painful. Okay okay calm down. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I can't stand this I can't stand this. It hurts. It hurts. My mind is shouting. Okay. Shouting. Shouting. Shouting. Shouting. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I want to get out. Want. Want. Want. Want. I WANT TO GET OUT. Just a minute. Don't follow your mind. Observe your pain. The stiff and tight pain, forming like a block, right in the ankle. Hot, stiff, heavy pain. Also on the right knee. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. It seems to release a bit now. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Okay. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Phew. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling....
Ting ting ting. The phone rings. I open my eyes, reach out for the phone and turn the timer off. One hour is gone. My body is damp with sweat. As slowly as possible, I start to stretch my legs out. Uhhh uhhh painful. Try not to wince your face. Don't be manipulated by the outside force. Going to forward fold pose. Breathe deeply to the belly. And release.
Now it's time for praying. Palms down on bed. Bottom on heels. I slowly fold my body to praying position and place my forehead on the bed sheet. A refreshing smell wafting around. Ah, the peppermint essential oil I put on the pillow last night. Okay, let's begin. Dear God. I want to say thank you that I have one more day to live. Thank you that we had a sunny day yesterday. I like the Sun. Thank mom for sewing me a new pajamas. Thank my brother for taking my bike to the motorbike repair shop. Thank my father for showing his care to us although not as we wanted. Thank the people who sent me messages yesterday and showed their love to my book. Thank Vu for meeting me for lunch. And what else. And dear God. Blah blah blah I pour out my wishes.
What time is it now? 5:15. Oh I feel so good. I have a whole morning ahead. That's awesome waking up early. There is so much time to do whatever I want. Then I lay on my back and sleep like a log."
"I wake up. The room is filled with darkness. I move my arms and legs, and give my body a long deep stretch. My left foot touches a hard squared object. The phone. I turn it on. 3:53AM. My mouth opens and forms a big yawn. I turn to one side and sit up. The feet dropped on the cool floor. This is the ritual. Stand up. Right leg first. Then left leg. Right. Left. Right. Left. To the bathroom. Release what needs to be released. Phew. Then washed the hands. Slowly go back to bed. Sit down. Put one foot over the thigh of the other leg. Cushions under knees. Set the timer. And off I go into meditation.
Immediately focus on the rising and falling of your abdomen, my teacher said. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. The belly is like a balloon going up and down after each breath. But this balloon is rising a little bit more to the left. Oh, now it's more on the back side. And then to the front. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Oh, I need to set up a meeting with Mr. Pencil. Mr. Pencil is the founder of an organization...No, no, no, no. You should not think when you're meditating. If you're thinking when doing meditation, you should realize that you're thinking, and note that you're thinking by chanting. Okay, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Now back to the movement of the abdomen. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Send a message to Teo, this is important. Teo is doing great in boot camp, he beat the teacher last time, meanwhile I'm such a duck. No, not again, don't hop on the train of thought. Joseph Goldstein says in a meditation book that if we hop on, then when we hop off, we're in a different place from where we start. I want to stay here and now. Concentration. Mindfulness.
Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Oh it's so itching in my right palm. Something is biting me. Perhaps a mosquito. I should focus on that feeling. Itching, itching, itching, itching. Now it reduces. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Good. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I feel relaxed. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I just sit there and breathe. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. So good.
Pain. The pain in my left ankle slowly rises up. Now it's piercing my bone. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Omg so painful. Okay okay calm down. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I can't stand this I can't stand this. It hurts. It hurts. My mind is shouting. Okay. Shouting. Shouting. Shouting. Shouting. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. I want to get out. Want. Want. Want. Want. I WANT TO GET OUT. Just a minute. Don't follow your mind. Observe your pain. The stiff and tight pain, forming like a block, right in the ankle. Hot, stiff, heavy pain. Also on the right knee. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. It seems to release a bit now. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Okay. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling. Phew. Rising. Falling. Rising. Falling....
Ting ting ting. The phone rings. I open my eyes, reach out for the phone and turn the timer off. One hour is gone. My body is damp with sweat. As slowly as possible, I start to stretch my legs out. Uhhh uhhh painful. Try not to wince your face. Don't be manipulated by the outside force. Going to forward fold pose. Breathe deeply to the belly. And release.
Now it's time for praying. Palms down on bed. Bottom on heels. I slowly fold my body to praying position and place my forehead on the bed sheet. A refreshing smell wafting around. Ah, the peppermint essential oil I put on the pillow last night. Okay, let's begin. Dear God. I want to say thank you that I have one more day to live. Thank you that we had a sunny day yesterday. I like the Sun. Thank mom for sewing me a new pajamas. Thank my brother for taking my bike to the motorbike repair shop. Thank my father for showing his care to us although not as we wanted. Thank the people who sent me messages yesterday and showed their love to my book. Thank Vu for meeting me for lunch. And what else. And dear God. Blah blah blah I pour out my wishes.
What time is it now? 5:15. Oh I feel so good. I have a whole morning ahead. That's awesome waking up early. There is so much time to do whatever I want. Then I lay on my back and sleep like a log."
