Ups and downs

It wouldn't be honest if I just note down the times I do well and not the times I fail, (or lets say: the times I need to improve, according to positive thinking :))) ). So here it is, my up and down experience.

There were 2 talk shows on the same day last Saturday. Since I had a trip to Con Dao right before the events, I was a bit worried that I missed out something important and couldn't prepare well for the talks.

But I read The power of positive thinking by Dr Norman Vincent Peale (known as the father of positive thinking), and there were the quotes in the Bible that I really like: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" and "Christ is with me, Christ is helping, Christ is guiding me through". I did as the author suggested, whispering the sentence (replacing Christ by God) and I did feel stronger and more confident. So I kept repeating the words, felt the strength in my heart, and thought about positive things.

And to make sure that I would do well, I stayed much time indoor to prepare for the speeches. I answered the questions in the Jailbreak event. I wrote down the map for the travel event of Thailand Authority of Tourism (TAT) as The Guide Happiness Vu had taught, understanding your audience, beginning, ending, content.... Then I imagined in my head that the two events would go smoothly and everybody would be pleased with my performance.

Then came the events' day.

I landed at the airport at 8.30 and went to the first event at Jailbreak exactly on time. Then the introduced our talks. That was quite an experienced MC, a student from UEH.

I started off well and was confident to deliver my thoughts throughout the event. Another speaker, anh Quy, also talked really well. He was always impressive in front of the public, his skill was so good.

But I was surprised with bro Khoa in that event. He looked down a lot and didn't keep eye contact with the audience or other speakers. He was not funny, talkative and lovely as he normally acted in previous event. I didn't know what happen to him. Anyway, the event ended, some people went to talk with me, including some journalists and I felt quite satisfied. Anh Quy and his friend also commented that I spoke like a poet, including many quotes and stories and useful information.

And we went to the second event. Anh Quy had the rehearsal on the stage and so did I. People started to show up and I saw my friend Vu. 

Then there was the showtime. Anh Quy's presentation was quite long,  but he did well with his usual energetic gesture and his humor. I felt a bit nervous, but kept repeating the words: "God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me through". 

Then came my talk. And I didn't know why but I lost my spirit. I didn't forget my speech, but my words became to rush and I felt my voice trembled. I wanted to take a deep breath and calmed myself down but I couldn't. I started sweating. I heard people talking loudly. I thought they were all laughing at me. I laughed along just to hide my embarrassment. "This is bad", I thought. "Where are you God?" I asked.

That was a catastrophe, I told to myself. I was very good at the talk show - asking and answering type - in the morning, but I felt not very comfortable with the presentation and all the slides. I didn't feel the connection with the slides at all.

But I was glad it ended.

It was stressful and rushing working on that event. And people called me out for meetings suddenly. One time I had to cancel my cooking with the yoga teacher to attend the meeting and I felt a bit bad about that. I usually have my work scheduled way ahead and I want my appointments to be planned beforehand.

Anyway, I was grateful to anh Quy and TAT for inviting me to his event, although I didn't do very well. I was grateful to know more techniques of presentation from my class, although I didn't apply well. I was grateful that things could have been worse.

What happened, happened. There was nothing I could do about it. I went to the thank you dinner with TAT with a bit of shame still. But I tried to show my thankfulness to the head of TAT (I really liked her, I liked Thai people), and talked friendly with people to create good atmosphere.

Then I went home and slept with peace.