Monday, 13 June 2016

Change needed.

Okay after several issues I decide it's time for change.

The first thing is about personal branding. I've been slacking on this.

I've been proud of myself as a honest and modest person, not fame addicted, nor having high ego, nor being narcissistic. I don't try to promote my brand name, or promote my products or services, or show off to other people. I just try to do things as well as I can, under the line and not boasting or talking about things I do. But gradually this led to some negative effects. The fact is that I don't receive the opportunities I deserve, my work doesn't reach potential customers, and to this point people are looking down on me, as my mom and my roommates have warned me.

I've been doing yoga and practicing meditation and humility, one of the key points of yoga. I don't know if it affects my performance or not, but I definitely lost my competitiveness gradually. I have little to no desire to compete with other people. But I have to change. It's a competitive world. And if I don't talk, don't actively perform, and don't tell people about what I do, they won't know. The time of "good wine needs no bush" is dead. There are so many good brands of wine out there. Yeah, your wine may be good, but if you don't do anything to invite other people to try your wine, how can people know? Definitely need to change.

So how to change?
- Write more, 2 - 3 posts/week.
- Be more relaxed. Everything is just a game. Why so serious. Be more entertaining.
- Be free to talk to people about what I do, not afraid to promote my work.
- Write what I like.

Second, relationships.

I have so many contacts, relationships, networks in my circle. But I've been very reactive in my social relationships. Whoever come to me and talk to me, I'll talk to them and be their friends. Whoever don't contact me, I let them go. So I lost several connections with the people I like and want to befriend. Sometimes I feel I don't have many close friends. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Sometimes I want to call out my friends to play Catan but I don't know who to call. Too bad. So sad.

After some time pondering over the problem, I reckon 2 reasons:
- I'm independent and I think I can live without any help. And I don't need boys or relationships or people to live my life well. So sometimes I just let precious people in my life slipped without my consciousness.
- I've been raised in a family, where both father and mother are not very sociable. In fact my parents somehow believe that who actively connect their social relationships are for the sheer purpose of taking advantages of their relationships later on. So I may have the same subconscious belief, that building relationships is bad and not necessary.

So what I need to do is to actively connect with the people I like:
- Change my understanding about relationships. Social network is not bad. You make friends, support people and have their supports. Learn, grow, and have fun together. I have a lot to offer, and other people are too. It's not about taking advantage, but it's about mutual benefits.
- Meet a new friend and an old friend every week.
- Join the clubs I like to participate every week (swimming, yoga, boot camp, frisbee).

Onward Rosie. You have a lot to improve.

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