Today I finished reading A Moveable Feast by Earnest Hemingway. Only when reading it did I know why his works gained worldwide recognition. Clear, simple, short sentence. Yet full of emotion and ideas. It gave me a very pleasant feeling reading his book. It's like sitting in a cozy couch near the heater in a clean, lovely, well - maintained house. And simultaneously looking out of the window and seeing the first rain of the year. A relieved and peaceful feeling.
But I was a bit surprised to know that Hemingway didn't live a happy life. Despite the fact that he was one of the most influential writers in 20th century, he won a Nobel prize, he was financially secure and could live wherever he wanted. Hemingway was severely wounded from several accidents at the end of his life, seriously alcohol addicted, and finally committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.
My heart was broken as I read his biography. A writer spent so much time to build his career, then ended his life at his career peak when he seemed to have everything he wanted. At some points of his life, perhaps he did reckon that the happiest moments were when he spent his youth with his first wife in Paris: "when we were very poor and very happy". Life is brutal sometimes, and when you think you know everything about life and have everything life has to offer, there you fall into its trap and end in misery. Hemingway is a muscleman with a strong personality. But he was no difference. How on earth am I suppose to live and thrive in this career? To excel in writing and earn a good living from that, yet staying positive and healthy at the same time. I still haven't figured it out yet. I guess I'll just make adjustments as I go along the way. At least I'm pretty sure I won't be alcohol addicted.
Today I'm also reminded of one thing. My friend said during his class: "If a person fails to keep his promises with you, then he will slowly lose your trust. Similarly if you don't do what you're supposed to do, slowly you will be disappointed with yourself, losing your confidence and starting to hate yourself". So in order to gain confidence, one way is to keep the promises to myself, do the job I want myself to do, overcome the challenges and try to keep up with my own standard.
That's it for now.
But I was a bit surprised to know that Hemingway didn't live a happy life. Despite the fact that he was one of the most influential writers in 20th century, he won a Nobel prize, he was financially secure and could live wherever he wanted. Hemingway was severely wounded from several accidents at the end of his life, seriously alcohol addicted, and finally committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.
My heart was broken as I read his biography. A writer spent so much time to build his career, then ended his life at his career peak when he seemed to have everything he wanted. At some points of his life, perhaps he did reckon that the happiest moments were when he spent his youth with his first wife in Paris: "when we were very poor and very happy". Life is brutal sometimes, and when you think you know everything about life and have everything life has to offer, there you fall into its trap and end in misery. Hemingway is a muscleman with a strong personality. But he was no difference. How on earth am I suppose to live and thrive in this career? To excel in writing and earn a good living from that, yet staying positive and healthy at the same time. I still haven't figured it out yet. I guess I'll just make adjustments as I go along the way. At least I'm pretty sure I won't be alcohol addicted.
Today I'm also reminded of one thing. My friend said during his class: "If a person fails to keep his promises with you, then he will slowly lose your trust. Similarly if you don't do what you're supposed to do, slowly you will be disappointed with yourself, losing your confidence and starting to hate yourself". So in order to gain confidence, one way is to keep the promises to myself, do the job I want myself to do, overcome the challenges and try to keep up with my own standard.
That's it for now.
I can't imagine you being alcohol addicted Rosie. Yes, the last one, if you don't do what you're supposed to do, slowly you will be disappointed with yourself, losing your confidence and starting to hate yourself". So in order to gain confidence, one way is to keep the promises to myself, do the job I want myself to do, overcome the challenges and try to keep up with my own standard. Thank Rosie, these days, I always try to remind myself these good thoughts, and I feel like I haven't get there yet, but still, those words will never fade. Love you sister :). I guess when we meet each other, sit with each other, words can't flow like this. It's just through writing I can put these down. "Water girls hey?"
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