I have been away from Saigon for the Ly Son camp. I was invited as the guest speaker in the talkshow about eco tourism, which is an activity in the camp. The talkshow was held in only 1 day but I had to stay in Ly Son for nearly 2 weeks, and attended all the other activities. I met so many nice and talented youngsters in the camp. It was fun. But tiring at the same time. I want to write about all of the people I've met and the stories and the activities, but I'm still exhausted. Another time maybe.
So I'm back to normal routine, and back to my class, just on time to instruct the 3 last sessions of the "Flying w/o Wings" class. And all the three classes were disappointing. Perhaps I didn't prepare well. Perhaps I didn't invest enough time and energy. I was not satisfied with what I presented and I knew the students felt the same. So here in this blog I'm gonna skip all the other things and note down what I need to learn from this experience:
- In these classes, I fell into the trap of an old teacher. Talking and letting students taking notes. And didn't let them have the time to discuss or share their ideas. My sessions were rigid and shallow. A student told that my class was not fun and inspiring as normal.
- I didn't really pay much effort into these classes. Then after I fell I realized that everything needs investment. Especially something relates directly to the people like instruction/teaching/education. Once you commit to this mission, you need to put your full effort to it. I was wrong that I was not totally mindful before and during the lasses. Especially in the last class, I should have showed the best of me to the students. But I didn't. Now I resent it.
Anyway, it's over and I can only take note to improve myself in the future. What I can do better is instead of instructing, just giving the questions out for discussing and let the students talk. Ask and listen and let them solve the problems themselves. I've done this but I need to remember and consciously do this more and more often in the class. There are still a lot to learn to be a good instructor.
It is strange about my fatigue. There was no labor from dawn to dusk during the camp or something. And I did yoga and tried to have enough nutrition. When I'm back I'm supposed to be efficient and supportive. But it is as if there were a hollow inside of me, empty, wearisome, bone tired. I don't want to complain. But I want to break down and understand why I have this feeling. Okay, let me think rationally. Mmm.
Okay another thing to note.
A friend of mine sent me her book for proofreading. She is young and talented and I really admire her. I came to the book expecting to love it. I wanted to love it. But I couldn't. Because of the writing style. It sounds like every of her readers hates her and she is using this book to revenge them all. I guess it's because of her false belief. She seems to believe that people hate her, and she is not good at making friends or communication. I understand that this is from her painful experiences in the past. She used to be very famous, she still is. But she withdrew from the public for a long time after some scandals and strong reactions from the anti fans. And that affects her writing. There are so many self - mocking jokes in the book that it becomes annoying. But the truth is many people admire her. She is witty and smart and inspiring, but somehow she still thinks that all the other people cannot stand her. Well, maybe some. But not all.
I believe that every writer want his/her books to be loved. And I feel sorry for my friend. She is strong and independent and is always like: "yeah whatever I don't care". But there are very few people who can totally ignore what other people talk/think about them. And of course she cares. I hope she can make peace with herself and love herself more, so readers can feel more love in her writing.
Ok that's enough for now. The good thing about free writing is I can write about whatever I like and stop whenever I want, haha.
Thanks God I'm writing again. I probably should think about a healing writing course soon.
So I'm back to normal routine, and back to my class, just on time to instruct the 3 last sessions of the "Flying w/o Wings" class. And all the three classes were disappointing. Perhaps I didn't prepare well. Perhaps I didn't invest enough time and energy. I was not satisfied with what I presented and I knew the students felt the same. So here in this blog I'm gonna skip all the other things and note down what I need to learn from this experience:
- In these classes, I fell into the trap of an old teacher. Talking and letting students taking notes. And didn't let them have the time to discuss or share their ideas. My sessions were rigid and shallow. A student told that my class was not fun and inspiring as normal.
- I didn't really pay much effort into these classes. Then after I fell I realized that everything needs investment. Especially something relates directly to the people like instruction/teaching/education. Once you commit to this mission, you need to put your full effort to it. I was wrong that I was not totally mindful before and during the lasses. Especially in the last class, I should have showed the best of me to the students. But I didn't. Now I resent it.
Anyway, it's over and I can only take note to improve myself in the future. What I can do better is instead of instructing, just giving the questions out for discussing and let the students talk. Ask and listen and let them solve the problems themselves. I've done this but I need to remember and consciously do this more and more often in the class. There are still a lot to learn to be a good instructor.
It is strange about my fatigue. There was no labor from dawn to dusk during the camp or something. And I did yoga and tried to have enough nutrition. When I'm back I'm supposed to be efficient and supportive. But it is as if there were a hollow inside of me, empty, wearisome, bone tired. I don't want to complain. But I want to break down and understand why I have this feeling. Okay, let me think rationally. Mmm.
Okay another thing to note.
A friend of mine sent me her book for proofreading. She is young and talented and I really admire her. I came to the book expecting to love it. I wanted to love it. But I couldn't. Because of the writing style. It sounds like every of her readers hates her and she is using this book to revenge them all. I guess it's because of her false belief. She seems to believe that people hate her, and she is not good at making friends or communication. I understand that this is from her painful experiences in the past. She used to be very famous, she still is. But she withdrew from the public for a long time after some scandals and strong reactions from the anti fans. And that affects her writing. There are so many self - mocking jokes in the book that it becomes annoying. But the truth is many people admire her. She is witty and smart and inspiring, but somehow she still thinks that all the other people cannot stand her. Well, maybe some. But not all.
I believe that every writer want his/her books to be loved. And I feel sorry for my friend. She is strong and independent and is always like: "yeah whatever I don't care". But there are very few people who can totally ignore what other people talk/think about them. And of course she cares. I hope she can make peace with herself and love herself more, so readers can feel more love in her writing.
Ok that's enough for now. The good thing about free writing is I can write about whatever I like and stop whenever I want, haha.
Thanks God I'm writing again. I probably should think about a healing writing course soon.
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